Keeping you in the game... One email at a time. 
The highlight of this Super Bowl was probably Maroon 5's Adam Levine taking his shirt off during the halftime show. To be clear, this is not a good thing. The New England Patriots, quarterback Tom Brady, and evil genius coach Bill Belichick -- that's his interpretation of the human emotion of "happiness" in the above gif -- won their sixth Super Bowl since 2002 by beating the L.A. Rams 13-3. It was possibly the most boring Super Bowl of all time, as it was the first to ever have zero touchdowns through three quarters, on its way to having the fewest total points scored of any Super Bowl. It was at least close for most of the game, but if anyone tells you this game was a thriller you have good reason to believe that their past tales of wild, exciting weekends were a stretch.

Some things that happened in a game where not much happened:
  • The most important play was, of course, a pass from old man Brady to broken-down party-monster Gronk (aka Rob Gronkowski), who caught a pass on the 2-yard line to set up the game's only touchdown.
  • The game MVP was Patriots receiver Julian Edelman, who in an offensively-challenged game had an actually-quite-good 141 receiving yards. Patriots haters will not hesitate to point out that he was suspended for the first four games of this season for violating the league's policy on performance-enhancing drugs.
  • Rams coach Sean McVay entered this game with a reputation for being an offensive genius. That reputation is certainly less of a thing now that he's been completely schooled by Belichick in an internationally-televised loss. I mean, the Rams scored three points. Three.
  • Brady's sixth Super Bowl win gives him the most ever for an NFL player. Wheeeeeeeee.
And that's about it! 
"Even Pats fans couldn't have enjoyed that boring game that much, right?"
Here's the only touchdown drive of the game, including, we're big enough to admit this, a pretty sweet catch from Gronk on a pretty sweet throw from Brady.
There's always that one friend who, the second the Super Bowl ends, says "only a week until pitchers and catchers!" That, of course, refers to the start of baseball's spring training (pitchers and catchers start a few days before everyone else). The baseball season will start not that long afterwards, and will continue for several years, at least that's what it sometimes feels like.
Being an NFL fan means grudgingly respecting Tom Brady while also being extremely petty about it.
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