Jazmine, one of the characters, describes chasing her elusive orgasm:
“It’s like trying to catch a goldfish barehanded.”
I hear you, Jaz.
For some of us with pussies, orgasms are hard to find. For others, they are accessible, but we still reeeeeeach to get there.
We and our partners often treat female orgasms like work: we’re on the hunt for them, chasing them down with ferocity. We put in the measured steps to ensure we get the outcome.
We effort ourselves to get there. We tense up, contracting to find release.
We also feel guilty if the orgasms take too long to find. This either causes us get even more in our head and makes it harder to find the elusive orgasm, or shallows-out the orgasmic experience.
And you know what?
Treating your orgasm like work, hunting for it, contracting to amplify sensation actually minimises the pleasure. Not only is the pleasure shallower, but there are also so many different types of experiences you can have if you let the orgasm find you.
Yep, if you let the orgasm find you.
I had my first ‘aha’ moment with this a couple of years ago.
I realised that I often decided when it was time to orgasm and I’d go about making that happen.
And it did. ‘Twas nice. Did a good job.
And then I thought, what if I let go? What if I stopped controlling my orgasm? What if I stopped telling it when and where and how to dance?
What if I surrendered to the pleasure, rather than control it?
Amazing things happened. Cell-shaking pleasures I'd never experienced. I've written about it in my next post and include:
8 keys to experiencing effortless, expansive and blissful orgasms.