I was convinced I would be pregnant forever.
I know this is a cliche and mostly said as a joke, but it's funny what tricks your mind can play on you in moments of great desperation. But sure enough, a baby came, and I will not be cursed with a lifetime pregnancy. On October 14 after 41 weeks, 6 days, 17 hours, and 37 minutes, little Atlas Mack finally made his appearance, mere hours before a deadline that would have required we transfer out of my birthing center care over to a hospital.
My birth story is full of ridiculous and silly stories that are more silly the further away we get from the day. A few gems:
What a beautiful/intense/amazing/ traumatizing experience. One that I wouldn't trade for the world (but for the record, shall never do it again. And I'm shouting it from the rooftops and expect all of you to hold me to it. Dare I catch the 'amnesia' so many talk about, it is your job to remind me how miserable I was 80%+ of my pregnancy. YOU! Thats your job! :) Atlas' late appearance threatened the natural out of hospital birth we so desperately wanted, but thankfully he decided to stop toying with my emotions and show up just in time.
- When my water broke in the birthing center parking lot, a birthing assistant raced out get on all fours to smell the puddle to figure out if I had peed myself or if it were truly amniotic fluid. (Side note: midwives are sent straight from heaven and provide a service most couldn’t handle. Bless them all!)
- Two-thirds of the way through labor, I was given nitrous oxide. In my delirium I noticed a number of cans of gas on the stand, and I convinced myself there must be a limited supply. Knowing there was someone in the next room over that might get to that precious stock before me, I played an internal bargaining game to determine how much extra I would pay for the nitrous oxide if the birthing center somehow ran out. (I landed on and shared that I would be willing to offer 10x what the woman in the next room was willing to pay, if push came to shove. Laboring Tara is ruthless and selfish.
- The work that went into selecting the five (5!!) laboring clothes options was such a silly investment, given the second I hit that birthing room I tore my clothes off so fast I dont even recall the deed. (Im also not totally sure I even made it home with those clothes.) The midwives told me i would be given My choice of room upon arrival, but that i honestly probably wouldn’t care at that point. They were right. I wanted the room that was gonna get that baby out the fastest. Give me that room.
- And my favorite—-turns out my water didn’t break the day before, but rather i had a ‘high leak’ Which means it breaking completely during labor. I didn’t know the difference, but just felt a giant explosion out of my body during labor. My thoughts: “I JUST GAVE BIRTH TO THE BABY. And i did it ALL BY MYSELF!!” I looked down prepared to see my baby boy and to gloat to anyone who would listen, and saw nothing. Meanwhile, Aidan was across the room and convinced i had explosive diarrhea and was already planning how to burn the blankets that were hit in the crossfire. We were both very very wrong.
I write this to you in the haze of postpartum healing/mind blowing sleep deprivation that accompanies having a 2 week old newborn. I type furiously as he sleeps in his swing next to me, knowing at any moment my job as mom will begin once again.
So we will keep this short(ish) for now. A few select photos of our new bundle are below. And don't forget this weekend is our Twilight Picnic! Use code FRIENDS to save $10. We treated Atlas to his first bonfire and Honey Ranch sunset last night, and we hope you can be with us to experience his second (and his first 'earth-side' concert!)
As a final note—do you have a really fantastic birth story? I’m obsessed with them—hit reply and give me your best. Can’t wait to read them...
For the bees and a new ba-bee,